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My Player Is Writing A Spell

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I'm honestly not sure what to think of this one. I will copy and paste what he's got. I'd like opinions on rather this should be Celestial or Solar Circle (he's suggesting Solar), and if anything looks as though it should be changed or looks fine to you guys. I can normally judge that, Myself, but I'm having some difficulty. Knowing that many of you here are good with this, feedback would be both appreciated and useful to My game. Thanks.

The Light Never Dies

Cost: 50m

Target: Caster

In the first action of the Shaping Solar Circle Sorcery, the sorceress

rises her arms high to the sky, as if calling upon the Daystar.

Ambient light around her, including the Daystar's light, brightens and

shines in unison with her sorcery, as if in testament to her power.

"The Light"

In the second action, both palms are spread out before her, fingers

spread wide with one palm over another to create the design of a

ten-pointed ball, perhaps the Daystar itself. The light reflects and

permeates around her very being, glowing in intensity without

diminishing the other sources. "Never"

In the third and final action of the spell, she throws her arms

downward, the light shimmering around her very being, winding around

and around and entwining into her anima. She stands defiant,

enveloped in the blazing energy. "Dies"

For the course of the scene, she is enveloped in powerful energy of

Light, permeated from her solar essence and tempered by her fury. The

light solidifies and moves by her very will. This allows her to make

a Speed 5 attack of Dexterity+Occult+Essence with a base damage of

Essence+Willpower, or throw the light a distance of Essence yards.

Doing so does not end or expend the spell.

Her Parry Defense Value is likewise calculated by

Dexterity+Occult+Essence, although bonuses that would normally be

added (such as from a shield) still apply.

The damage of the attack may be bashing, lethal or aggravated at the

caster's choice, and may be redesignated for each attack. Against

Creatures of Darkness, it is always Piercing.

Creatures of Darkness who touch the caster or strike her with

barehanded attacks are dealt Essence levels of aggravated damage for

each touch or attacks. Attacks with martial arts or melee weapons

reduce this to one level of aggravated damage. It is rumored that

even the death of the Unconquered Sun would not change the nature of

this part of the spell, since the light burning within the Solar

Exalted has burned since the beginning of the Primordial War and

battles against darkness by its very nature, but this has not been

proven and cannot be tested.

While this spell is active, the anima of the sorceress blazes iconic

regardless of the amount of peripheral Essence spent, but upon its

completion at the end of the scene, the anima drops away as if no

peripheral Essence at all had been spent. Anima accrues as normally

thereafter, but the very nature of the spell expends it.

Rumors have claimed that this will be the last spell to be cast when

Creation itself dies, but that the light from the Solar who casts it

will remain for all time thereafter, the final monument to Creation


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Just on raw first impressions, it feels a little underwhelming for a Solar Circle spell. It's like a whole bunch of rather weak effects thrown together. The only really 'awesome' bit is the attack, but for an essence 5 character there are more efficient ways to do similar damage.

It feels more like a charm than a spell to me. In my opinion a solar circle spell which conjures light should be the kind of thing which blinds entire armies or burns creatures of darkness for miles around.

Edited by the giant mantis

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