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Badly Oronparser

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About Badly Oronparser

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    London

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  1. Dark Heart of Africa?

    I am once again abroad stage managing the Circus that has become a regular part of my working life. I spent most of last year overseeing the technical side of the gig on a UK tour and all of January at Sydney Opera House all of which was great. This is what the gig looks like incidentally; Anyway, I am currently in my second week of five week stint in Johannesburg at the Civic Theatre which is the national venue. I am working with good people and the show has been very well received, so far so good. However the place is blowing my mind. The Parktonian Hotel is 150 yards from the theatre and I can see one from the other but I am literally not allowed to walk, it is that dangerous. The area i am in, down town Bramfontien, the heart of the city is so dangerous for white people that you advised not to walk anywhere. You cannot catch a train and un-licensed cabs are also risky. Now i know from talking to the locals that their areas that are safe and i have been to few buy cab and it has been pleasant but if you want to cross from a bar on 4th street in Meville to a restaurant on 7th you once again cannot walk. I have lived in Brixton in London where there are streets with Crack dens you avoid and i've meandered into neighborhoods of Chicago where I feared for my life but I have never experienced anything like this. I am a seasoned traveler and generally get the feel for a place by walking but on the few occasions i have slipped past security to walk to work or visit a local shop I have felt like a hen in the fox house. The positive discrimination is also very difficult to deal with. I understand the need for it, i support whole heartedly the concept and despise apartheid, but have never dealt with such rampant incompetence in the work place. Ironically my theatre crew are actually very good; great guys several of which have a dedication and skill set to rival UK crew (no mean feat) but it is the menial workers that beggar belief. Cleaners, hotel staff and waiters are so fantastically bad at their jobs as to be laughable. These are traditionally low skill positions and yet i have never seen such spectacular over staffing to such little effect. I am told it is because the senior management have all been replaced with unskilled people who then cannot pass on knowledge or effectively train their underlings. I have however found a 'safe' cab driver. Wiltord's ancient Cortina has fur seats and no seat belts and Wiltord himself is missing an arm and a leg, which he proudly showed us the second time we used him. Nice chap, mad as a hatter but definitely one of the good guys. Our currency is also insane, sterling is worth roughly five times what the Rand is so we are living like kings. I am embarrassed by how wealthy we are here, it is almost impossible to spend more than £10 in a restaurant and when one is earning £800 a week while living in a hotel it seems indecent. I am not sure where this post is going really, but the experience is so bizarre i felt I had to share it. I am sat on the 16th floor of the 70's design nightmare prison that masquerades as my hotel and wonder how i am going to get through another three week here. Maybe it is just coming from the UK that causes such culture shock, I know many of you Americans deal with guns and extreme racial tension everyday, but 80 people have been shot in my neighborhood this year. Surely that isn't normal by any first world standard? Anyone on the forum live in Jo'burg? Anyone been here and have some insight to share? I am rather lost and quite lonely. It doesn't help that my companies principal languages are Mandarin, Cantonese and Russian. Strange days indeed.
  2. Vampire: the Ebony Kingdom

    The scale of your dedication and ambition leaves me awed IHAL. Another remarkable piece of work.
  3. Sulu's Getting Hitched!

    There is still hope! What was the backlash from the bible belt? Have they been burning Trek DVDs? Sometimes I find it hard to imagine how the American states are ever going to stay united.
  4. Far Cry: the Movie

    You see, you do it to yourself. You know it is going to be awful and yet you subject yourself to more. You are like someone with an allergy to shellfish who still runs to the buffet every time and crams his face with prawns. Don't do it. Leave the Uwe Boll buffet alone!
  5. Your story

    1981, on arriving at secondary school I discovered a bunch of boys a year older than me playing AD&D at lunch times in the classroom for the book reading, academic kids who weren't good at sports (we didn't have geeks and nerds back then). I persuaded them to let me in the game and was rapidly addicted. Next birthday I had a Basic D&D box set (which I subjected my own circle of friends to at great length) and shortly after one of the kids from school and I joined a local Wargames club that had a side room where roleplayers met. Now mixing with guys about to head off to university (they seemed so old) who had been gaming since RPGs arrived in the UK we picked up all the bad habits that would see the pair of us doomed to a lifetime of dice-rolling. Shortly after the big kids left and we became the backbone of that group and assumed the GM mantles for good. We met twice a week in that musty side room of an old sports hut till I was sixteen. We ditched D&D for Palladium and then fantasy for a whole array of other systems. Flashing Blades, Mechwarrior, Spacemaster, Man, Myth & Magic, TMNT, Paranoia, Champions and countless others. Then, just as we were discovering drugs, beer, fanny and violence (dark age re-enactment) around the 17-18 mark, Cyberpunk 1.0 arrived and our gaming went ballistic and we didn't do much else for the next ten years, despite the group being split over four different town and hundreds of miles. During my last year of university (1997) I joined a friends Vampire group and discovered how much I'd missed out on with White Wolf and obsessed about that for the next three years. I got KotE on release which became part of a larger fixation with all things Eastern and quest for some kind of personal enlightenment. My Shih game began in 2001 and has sprawled and evolved ever since. My current group meets in my garage once a week and continues to drink and smoke too much despite the average age now being nearly 40. We seem determined to live out our midlife crisis' through dice and scratch maps.
  6. Has anyone any experience with Bi-Polar Disorder

    Thank you so much those who responded, it is just good to know there are other people out there dealing with this roller coaster existence. It would appear most of you have the same attitude to this situation as i did, though in my teens and twenties Bi-polar was not a term or condition in common usage. People (myself included) just thought I was a moody, angry, obsessive bastard and everyone (including much of my family) ended up holding me at arms length. At least those of you understanding what this is while young have a better chance of structuring your lives in a fashion better capable of dealing with it. I didn't make the connection till I was 34 when I saw Stephen Fry's excellent documentary on the condition and his own experience of it. That was revelatory; my partner and I sat and looked at each other every five minutes and she kept saying, 'Oh my God, that's you.' Worth tracking down and watching by the way. Anyway, I will let you know what the psychiatric profession has to say for itself on the subject and where this journey ends up taking me.
  7. What oWoD Projects are going on?

    Sure, I'll pm you links and details.
  8. Has anyone any experience with Bi-Polar Disorder

    It is odd, only when you start thinking about your choices and emotionally driven excesses that you start to wonder how much was a rational choice you made and how much was spontaneous reaction 'in the moment'. I had a filthy temper that blighted my teens and early twenties. Only now, years later, do I wonder whether that was me being a shitty, moody teenager or a side effect of my brain or a vile cocktail of the two. What else have I done as a result of not understanding my own potentials? This is what makes me want to seek professional council, to see where the boundaries are, how much is just me being moody, selfish and obsessive and how do I know the difference? I would like to think caution and awareness could cope with much of this.
  9. Has anyone any experience with Bi-Polar Disorder

    The point about Bi-polar is there is no cure. Psychotherapy is redundant vs a chemical imbalance in the brain. I have few issues, my childhood was happy, I have a supportive partner and lovely child both of whom i adore and i do a job that I basically enjoy and find satisfying. Normally bi-polar suffers are put on mood stabilizers and lithium to combat the ups and downs respectively, though not always. At this stage I just want to know more and gather as much information as possible. I am interested in cognitive behavior therapy; being able to identify the mood swings before they hit would make dealing with them much easier. Being able to warn friends and family in advance to keep am eye on my actions, substance abuse and spending would be a major help. It is early days and if it is choice between putting my family through the emotional ringer or taking the pills their isn't really a choice to be made.
  10. Has anyone any experience with Bi-Polar Disorder

    Thanks for the offer but it is not the side effects of the medication that I fear, rather their intended purpose. My partner was on prozac for 4 months when she had post natal depression. It eliminated all capability for real feeling and left her in a neutral space where she didn't really care about anything. Further, having lived my whole life used to having intense bursts of creative fervour I am concerned about losing my drive and ambition. It may not come to medication, I just want to know what my options are and how best to manage this condition.
  11. Has anyone any experience with Bi-Polar Disorder

    That was always my attitude, but kids change the rules. Generally I have always valued the upswings so much as to be willing to stomach the downs. The thought of losing my bursts of creative drive to a chemical is pretty scary though i know that is selfish. Hare to face losing some of the essence of who you are halfway through your life. I hope it won't come to that but family comes first.
  12. Cthulu Tech

    Mongoose aren't going to play the bills but they will pay in product. My friend wrote 12x5000 word articles for them last year and got $200 of product for each of them. That is a lot of books and figures. He has fleets of Bab 5 figures weighing down every surface in his living room. To be honest, just getting some stuff in print that i'd be working on for my game anyway would be an exciting change and would put my otherwise useless writing degree to some purpose. I have no career ambitions with this, i already have a job that pays, just be nice to work on games for a slightly wider audience than five.
  13. Has anyone any experience with Bi-Polar Disorder

    One of the reasons I am seeking treatment in my late 30s is because i want to stop subjecting my family to my mood swings. Up until I had a child i had managed my own issues pretty well. I am self employed doing project driven, intense bursts of work, occupying myself with hobbies that have consistent and achievable goals, self medicating with dope and isolating myself when very depressed. I suspect my condition is relatively minor and therefore it has never stopped me getting through life and I have frankly relished the creative potential of my up swings. Sadly a young child changes the home life dynamic in some pretty major ways. No more dope, no isolation, no obsessive projects to the exclusion of all else. I guess if things got really bad I would consider medication though only as a last resort. Prozac scares me.
  14. First things first, this it not a cry for help, I am fine. This is who i am. Second, I know there are better places to ask such questions but I don't know those people or feel comfortable talking amongst them. Third, I have done a good amount of reading on the Internet and already understand the basics. Right, went to the doctors this morning to get a referral to some kind of psychiatrist. I have known I suffered from sharp ups and downs for my whole adult life and have strongly suspected that this was due to bi-polar disorder for the last four years. I have set this in motion because I want to have a professional confirm my suspicions and lay out clearly what my options are for managing such a condition. I chose to do this because I have a three year old child and it gets harder to handle the excesses while maintaining stability within my family. Talking to my doctor was weird, the sequence of questions he asked were like a road map to my life. A relief in a way, at least I am not just some miserable, moody idiot. He is going to refer me to a shrink within my budget for diagnosis and advice. I already understand there is no cure for this, only different ways of managing and containing it. So i am curious? Anyone else been through this or helped someone else in a similar position? Does anyone have any experience of non chemical solutions to bi-polar disorder? Any thoughts, opinions, insights? I'd like to widen my perspective if I can and understand this better.
  15. What oWoD Projects are going on?

    My Shih Demon Hunter project is back under way and looking for proof readers, editorial feedback and possibly contributors.
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